Depressed & Disabled

On Ma 8th, twenty-two days ago,  rolled myright ankle on an uneven surface.  Leading to a severe sprain and a broken fifth Metatarsal bone.  Living in a small town and it being after 5:00 p.m. the only option for medical care was the ER.  Plus, I thought I might as well use my insurance before it is taken away by our 45th President.  (Aside:  I have insurance through the Exchange, also known as Obamacare.  Being a small business owner the option of affordable insurance has been a blessing, however, the new Healthcare Bill being presented will cut my accessibility.)


At the ER, x-rays are taken and I am informed that I have a badly sprained ankle and a broken foot.  The doctor advised, “stay off your foot for 2 weeks and then slowing begin weight-bearing activities.”  No mention of, follow-up with your doctor.  My foot wth-4.jpegas wrapped and I was provided with crutches and a shoe that was two sizes too large.   I decided to get a second opinion and was told the good thing is that it is healing, the bad news is I have to stay off my foot for another 2 weeks.  When I return the doctor will decide if I need a bone growth stimulator.  He indicated that If I had come directly into him, he would have recommended surgery.  He says this break is in the “worst
possible spot” on my 5th Metatarsal bone.  Then I would have been off the crutches faster.  However, he is hesitant to do surgery now since it is healing.

So, I’m a very active person and this is really depressing me.  Now all I do is go to work and come home and lay around.  What makes this even more difficult is that between Robin and I, we have 2 good left feet, and 3 good hands.  This injury has really made it clear to us, how much I am needed in good health.  Of course, through this, 2 of our dogs have become sick with a stomach bug and are refusing to take their meds and our old lady, Precious, is on constant med patrol and needs assistance getting
up.  I th-3am not supposed to be lifting her, but sometimes I have too, because Robin only has one good arm.  We are both miserable and depressed.  We have come to the point where we both admit we need help.  We are both proud and want to do everything on our own, but this really gets to us mentally and physically.  Our families are busy with their own lives and live far away, so that isn’t much help.

Living in a home with Chronic Pain and Stroke injuries is very hard, but when you throw in the other person being injured that makes it ridiculously hard!  I feel like a “cry baby” even writing this, but it’s the truth!  We both feel “Broken”  and we are waitinth-2.jpegg for the tides to change.  Of course, some may say “what’s the silver lining?”  Well, I have learned that laying around all day and binge watching “Bloodline” is enjoyable.  I’ve learned to stop the little voice in the back of my head saying, “Get up and be PRODUCTIVE.”  I’ve learned that my feet are VERY IMPORTANT to me, which I already knew.”  I’ve gained more compassion for Robin and her Stoke injuries.  I have more insight into Robin.  She is a fighter!  She is does not want to give up!  She wants to live and be productive!  She has a drive that I often miss, because
I’m in my own world!  Think of this…she learned to walk again, talk again, and drive again!

Here I am with a broken foot, and you would think my world has ended.  It has changed for right now, and I’m trying to be a good patient.  I have also learned that we really do need help from friends and family and shouldn’t be proud to ask.  We are getting  better at accepting help!  It is hard on us, but we are trying to grow.

Here’s a special shout out to our wonderful neighbors, Patty and Tom Marler, Cindy Hudson and Bob Jeffries, and our new friends Joyce and Eric Knowles!  We thank you so much!

Hope Hindered

I first saw this neurologist 6 weeks ago. She was hopeful that she could find someone to block the nerve pain, correctly diagnose the type of stroke I had and then treat my spasticity in my arm. 

Since the pain management doctor wasn’t able to help, she won’t touch the spasticity, and will refer me to Dallas   According to my CT scans, she believes it was a brain stem stroke and not a Middle Cerebral Artery stroke.  She also said the scan picked up a portion of my chest and I may have an aortic aneurysm and I should have my pcp refer me to a cardiologist. 

So, once again, I’m left in limbo searching for someone to help my pain. A friend posted about Relief Retreats, which looks amazing, but not covered by insurance. 

They won’t cover opioids because one could become addicted, but they also won’t cover alternative or wholistic treatments. If, they did, perhaps I could actually function in the world and have a job again. They would save money, but logic doesn’t seem to be used by them. 

Relief, Revoked!

Today I saw a pain management doctor. He was very nice, but basically said I’m too complicated, and he doesn’t want me to have another stroke, so he wants me to see someone in another state with more experience and tools. So, until then, he wants me to try a new pain med.  

I react weirdly to most meds, but I agreed to try. He wrote a script for a week supply, and gave a coupon. The Pharmacy informed me that because I have a Federally assisted insurance, Medicare D,  I am unable to use the coupon and they won’t pay for the med., a week supply is over $200. 

I feel completely defeated, again. All I want is to not have my face feel like acid is being poured on it, remove the vice grip from my head, take the fire poker out of my ear and the ice pick out of my eye. Oh, and also I would like the pins and needles to go away from the right side of my body, but perhaps I’m asking for too much. How many more years will I search for relief. Life seems to just be a waiting game. 

By Robin

June is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month

th-2.jpegDon’t just sit on the sidelines, support those who suffer every day.  Migraines affect 38 Million Americans Yearly, according to the Migraine Research Foundation. Many people and medical professionals dismiss individuals suffering from Migraines/Chronic Headaches, leaving them to feel invalidated, isolated, and sometimes suicidal.  Imagine feeling like a vice grip is squeezing your head for consecutive days, weeks, or even years. Then nausea sets in, retreating from sunlight and noise, holding your head rocking back and forth, sobbing.  You are supposed to go to work, but can’t even get out of bed.

Many think that there are medications that help Migraine sufferers.  Not always true.  Many medications have negative side effects, or they do not work for some. Many outsiders say things like, “I don’t know how you do it; I would have killed myself already.”  This is not helpful. The Migraine sufferer probably has already contemplated suicide many times. Actually the suicide risk of those experiencing Migraines is higher than the normal population.  Some medications have side effects of suicidal ideation.  Migraines don’t only affect the head they attack the body. Migraine headaches effect the central nervous system in the brain, causing the brain to react to triggers as PAIN messages.  Migraines are a neurological disorder.

Show your support this month by wearing Purple.

Detox delirium

Getting off pain meds is difficult on many levels. After exhausting many pain relieving options, I finally found one where I could function.  It didn’t take the pain away, but it was a veil that enabled me to live. Unfortunately, insurance wouldn’t cover the one med I could tolerate, so I decided to wean off. Also, since people and Doctors  are so quick to dismiss someone on an opiate, as a drug addict, I decided to wean off before I’m forcibly taken off, as many pain patients are. 

I’m day 3 of being completely off the med. My usual pains are excruciating as well as increased muscle cramps, irritability, insomnia, anxiety, and over all misery. I apologize in advance if anyone comes in the wrath of Robin.